The carnival of depravity continues

[fistsofchange]

Who: Bai Lin and anyone who cares to join her in a voyage of discovery and sin
What: Lin finally manages to crack open a waterproof treasure chest she found in the last fissure. It's full of a highly inappropriate treasure
When: June 2nd
Where: The common room. She wanted to make an event of this
Warnings: mentions of porn, drugs, and alcohol. HIGH levels of embarrassment

Lin had had a treasure chest sitting in her room for several days. It looked like something straight out of a pirates movie, but was made out of fake wood (probably a layer of plastic over metal), and was sealed tight. Airtight, actually. Whatever was in there she suspected was undamaged despite sitting underwater for who knows how long. She'd spent the last few days after he fissure recovering from the encounter with the Siren, and then there had been that crazy party the other night, but finally she felt well enough to take a stab at getting it open. Plus she had finally found a prybar.

That meant it was time to drag a big treasure chest into the common room. If it was full of gold and jewels (Which it definitely was, in her mind), she had resolved she would share it with everyone! It wasn't like they needed money out here anyways. Several minutes of prying and cursing later, the lock finally broke and Lin (and whoever was hanging around watching) was finally able to see what kind of treasure it was.

It was almost artfully arranged. Placed around the edge like petals of a flower was a surprising amount of porn. Two eromanga (F/M, part of a series), One short doujin (M/M), three DVDs (one live action F/M, one hentai F/F/M, and one live action F/F that eventually turned into F/F/F), and a few magazines (one copy of Giggles, Girls, and Garters, one copy of Steakhouse (beefy naked men), and a copy of Playtroll (featuring Alternian trolls of all genders. You're welcome, Jetshard). Just inside the ring of porn was a smaller ring made from a vibrator stuck inside a fleshlight, a bottle of lube, a bag of marijuana, some seran wrapped brownies (also with marijuana, though this wasn't immediately obvious just from looking at them) and two bottles of Jim Beam Whiskey. At the very center of this whole sinflower was a VHS tape resting on a velvet pillow with a faded homemade label that read "Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue (1990)"

Lin stared at it blankly for a moment, and then her cheeks started turning bright red.

Comments

[daughterofthemark]

[Arianna has been watching in a state of utter fascination. She knew breaking a lock was possible somewhere in the back of her mind, but this is the first time she can recall actually seeing it happen!

She stays out of the way while Lin works, but hurries over as soon as it's open.]

My goodness! You've found so many... things...

[Yeah, here's recognition just beginning to dawn.]

[fistsofchange]

I was...hoping for gold and jewels.

[daughterofthemark]

Perhaps a weapon, or a potent medicine.

[...

Arianna stop looking at the manga like that.]

[fistsofchange]

[If you want it you had better call dibs soon because there is going to be some intense negotiating after everyone gets over their surprise/embarrassment.]

Or maybe a holy relic of some kind...

[moonlightglory]

Anyone would be curious, seeing a treasure chest that cliche'd. Faith was already watching over Lin's shoulder when she cracked the thing open.

"Holy shit."

[fistsofchange]

"I...guess someone thought of this as treasure?"

[moonlightglory]

"Maybe they were trying to fuck with whoever went after their treasure. Spend five years following treasure maps, and then this."

[anarchia]

[Takes a real hard look at the treasure on display.]

Well. That's...something.

[You do you, horny humans.]

[fistsofchange]

Yeah...

[She definitely can't deny the horniness of humans.]

Something...

[anarchia]

I don't think I need to ask what the multimedia is for.

[But there's a strange scent he's picking up- not one he'd encountered before.]

Why are there dried plants and [Sniff sniff.] brown...food?

[dragonmouth]

[Tali lets out a small gasp when she sees the porn, but doesn't really say much else. She turns away, her cheeks flush with embarrassment, but she's still looking at those F/F loots even though she's pretending she totally isn't.]

[fistsofchange]

Wow.

[Lin is also staring at the porn, though she's also trying to not be SUPER obvious about it.

Neither of them are succeeding.]

[dragonmouth]

I never- um. Well.

[ She accidentally on purpose puts her hand on one of the F/F doujins. ]

Where did you even find this?

[blackestwitch]

[ While this grand unveiling is going on, Maddie just. Walks right past the giant treasure chest of porn. And takes a seat on a nearby couch, folding up her walking cane as she does.

She has headphones on and also, obviously, can't see what's going on. But just let your consciences know there is an impressionable teenage girl mere feet from this display of indecency. ]

[fistsofchange]

[Oh no.

Maybe she can just...turn the chest a little bit? So it's not visible to Maddie? This is stupid. But she can't just LEAVE it there!

Lin rotates the chest, making a loud grinding noise and drawing Maddie's attention directly towards what she didn't want Maddie paying attention to far more effectively than anything else she could of done short of shouting "HEY MADDIE CHECK THIS OUT!"]

[dubiouslychthonic]

[Well that's certainly a way for Jetshard to start her evening.

She's not particularly scandalized by the contents of the chest - she's pretty sure she lost that response to recreational contraband about the second time some idiot crew-member came into her infirmary with a sex-toy related injury - but that doesn't mean it's not notable, and she pauses, cup of coffee in hand, to peer into the box.]

That's... quite a collection.

[fistsofchange]

I didn't know what was in it until I opened it just now.

[dubiouslychthonic]

Turned up in a fissure? [Seems like a safe bet.]

Dividing the Loot

[fistsofchange]

[Lin is doing her best to look serious despite the absurd nature of this situation. She's standing with her back to the chest, facing everyone else who has gathered in the common room to get in on the action. She's gathered a bunch of bags of some kind.]

As you may have gathered, this treasure chest contains...uh...a very specific brand of treasure, we'll say. That's actually arguably to our benefit right now. If it was full of gems and gold coins, it wouldn't really do us any good here save looking pretty since we have nothing to buy. But this...er...bounty is all of a nature that we can enjoy it right now.

So here's my proposal:

The brownies and the hashish shall be kept separate, to be used as a group while we all watch that VHS tape of "Cartoon All-Stars to the rescue" at the A/V center.

I will take the, er...the vibrator for myself.

Everything else will be split up by friendly agreement and bartering between everyone present.

[nor_iron_bars]

Dibs on the whiskey!

[daughterofthemark]

I... if no one else would like to claim it...

[Arianna has set her hand on Giggles, Girls, and Garters.]

[nojohnyouare]

[Mai isn't laughing. It's possible she forgot how. But she might be smiling a tiny bit as if she's going to laugh.]

Fair.

[nojohnyouare]

[Mai isn't moving to take anything. Not really. But she is looking it all over with a slowly reddening face.]

...Is it wrong that this seems nostalgic.

[fistsofchange]

Have you done this kind of thing before?

[dubiouslychthonic]

Anyone else wants the Playtroll, speak now or forever hold your peace.