Not THAT kind of 'hot' celebrity...

[foolishjustice]

Who: Goro Akechi and OPEN
What: Dealing with the changing weather.
When: 4/28-5/1, 5/2, and 5/6
Where: The beach, almost outside and then the common room, the common room and then outside.
Warnings: None expected, but talking to him about his latest network post might bring up topics of murder, neglect, abuse, child assassins, and mental illness.

[4/28-5/1: Down by the beach]

[Goro has been noticeably scarce again since his post about Shido...but this time, it's not because he's sleeping. People who venture to the beach will easily find him in or near the water, wearing a pair of swim trunks and a dark blue shirt, perhaps a size too big and open in the front, with the sleeves cut off. He seems to be enjoying swimming, occasionally coming up onto the sand for something to drink, but not staying long enough to fully dry off.

The observant, or those particularly wondering why he's swimming in a shirt, might notice that his arms are dotted with scars from claws, blades, even an occasional splotchy burn mark.]

[5/2: Almost outside, but nope.]

[It seems Goro was planning to visit the beach again today, since he's wearing the swim trunks and shirt as he heads outside...but those plans immediately vanish when he opens the door. Those near the ground floor exit will get to see him take half a step through the open door, before stopping in his tracks when he actually feels the temperature outside...and proceeding to spin on his heel and march right back inside. Nope. Nope. He's going to go play some video games instead.]

[5/6: Common room, then outside]

[Once the weather levels out, it's time to get back to a bit more normalcy in his routine...and that includes dealing with some of the stuff he's found in Fissures (now dressed in white pants and a black T-shirt, unfortunately with his usual 'HERO' cap and associated jewelry, with the addition of a softly glowing, rainbow bracelet made of dragon eel scales). After bugging Izunia for the bulkiest part of it, he's set up a table and chairs in the common room, in view of the wall used as a projector screen. Next is a dart board, which he hangs on a wall, fifteen darts in three colors stuck into the board in a circle.

After he finishes adding his contributions to the common area, he heads outside...but not to the beach this time. People might have noticed a bright blue bicycle leaning against the outside of the station for the past week and change. Apparently it belongs to Goro, since he can be found riding it through the late afternoon. He's not going anywhere in particular, apparently just breaking it in for some exercise...but at least he's enjoying himself?]

Comments

[makejapangreat]

You can respect someone, and still be utterly selfish.

[A wry smirk at that, though when he looks up and sees the telltale glitter to his eyes, his gaze softens.]

I know. There are many things I should have done. Things I knew I should have done and still didn't do, anyway.

[He takes a deep breath.] Akechi... is this really helping you?

[For as much as he knows he's deserving of this, all the barbed insults and rehashing... he doesn't want to hurt Akechi more. And that includes Akechi suffering to make him suffer.]

[foolishjustice]

...It hurts to think about her, and it pisses me off to think about what you did to her.

[He brings his free hand up to rub his face.]

But it hurts more to think about the fact that I barely know anything about her.

[makejapangreat]

Then take a seat, and I'll tell you what I can remember.

[He looks down at his folded hands, closing his eyes. To be honest... many of the memories are still fresh in his mind, like they were yesterday.]

I was at a bar, fighting with my coworkers. They never saw eye-to-eye with me. I was an idealist, and I had great visions for the future of Japan. They thought I was a fool with my head in the clouds.

I remembered they left me. I was angry and discouraged... When the bartender slid me my drink, I said, "I bet you think I'm a crazy fool too." And she said to me, "No, I think that's exactly what this country needs." And as I looked up at her, she said, "The real question is, are you willing to fight for it?"

I didn't hesitate for a moment. "With everything I have."

[Quietly, still looking at his hands:] ...and I quickly discovered she was the most intelligent woman I'd ever known.

[foolishjustice]

[He sits down as suggested, watching Shido cautiously as he grips his phone. He initially rolls his eyes at the idea of his father being an idealist, but his eyes snap forward at the description of a specific moment. A specific conversation. Exact words...her words.

He puts his phone down to rub his eyes, revealing that what he'd been looking at is a photo of his mother, collapsed exhausted in a chair, and a little boy who looks to be maybe five or six bringing her a bowl of what looks like canned soup. It's a candid shot, with neither the woman nor the young Goro Akechi paying any attention to the mysterious photographer.]

Dammit...

[For once, the swear isn't angry...the way his voice is choked, it sounds like he's fighting back tears.]

[makejapangreat]

[Shido is quiet, glancing over when the phone is set down. He doesn't entirely mean to, but he catches a glimpse of what's on the screen; it's enough to make his breath catch.

After a moment, his hand comes up to take off his glasses and he pinches the bridge of his nose. He could distance himself from the suffering he caused before. Now it was here, in front of him as clear as ever. It was real, and it was now, nearly two decades after he'd left his mark.

He waits a bit, letting Akechi compose himself before he goes on:]

I spent a lot of time with Kishi talking about the future of the nation... as well as anything else we had strong opinions on. I was baffled how a woman like her was making such low wages as a bartender.

Turned out her relationship with her family was strained, and because of her fierce nature... she'd grown up a rebellious teenager, getting involved in all sorts of illegal activity. She was brilliant, beautiful, and strong, yet the more I got to know her... the more I realized how much she struggled with herself.

[foolishjustice]

[It takes him a little while to get his emotions back under control, but when he does, his entire attitude toward listening has changed. He seems to be hanging onto Shido's every word, staring at him with eyes still shiny from tears.]

...I didn't think you'd remember her name.

[He wipes his eyes again, clearly trying to compose himself. A deep breath, and he manages to put one of his masks on, a faint smile that looks about as real as a sculpture in a bad wax museum. His voice, likewise, is clearly deliberately measured.]

So, something else I get from her...it sounds as if she would've ended up a Phantom Thief too, at my age.

[makejapangreat]

It wouldn't have surprised me.

[Shido keeps going, though he's well aware of Akechi's gaze on him. It's... it feels unreal, to have him look at him so expectantly and eagerly and without malice, and... some part of him wishes it could be like this more often.]

She was beautiful, as you can see, and naturally, that meant she attracted a lot of men. She did enjoy some light flirting, but she put a hard stop on anyone who overstepped their bounds.

She was beautiful... and she was ferocious. [He can't help but give a tiny, amused smirk.] ...she threatened castration on any man who pushed their luck with her.

[foolishjustice]

Hmm...maybe I could have benefited from taking after her a bit more. I think I've been far too gentle with my unwanted admirers. Though, castration would only work as a threat for the male portion...

[It's more talking to himself, than anything. There's a definite note of exasperation, though it's not directed anywhere in specific.]

So...how did someone with clear self-respect and a wealth of options end up with someone so self-absorbed?

[makejapangreat]

She had the strong personality to get me to look outside of myself. In fact she'd commented that it was unfortunate that I'd grown up to think that way, yet she saw in me traits that were redeeming enough that she thought she could help me to break free of my self-centered worldview.

... she nearly succeeded, too.

[foolishjustice]

...Except then I happened, and your reputation was worth more to you than she was.

[It's half accusatory, half...resigned statement of fact. From his tone, he's used to thinking about his birth as a disaster.]

[makejapangreat]

[Shido gives a drawn-out sigh.]

It was not an easy decision, but... ultimately, yes. And after I left her, I spiraled further and further into corruption.

She was a good woman who deserved much better than me.

[foolishjustice]

So, if I hadn't been born...not only would you not have had a reason to kill her, she might have even been able to stop you from becoming the kind of person who killed Wakaba Isshiki.

[He presses a hand to his face and lets out an unsteady laugh.]

Of course it's like that...

[makejapangreat]

[His brow pinches a little at that reasoning.]

You cannot know what would have happened, Akechi, had you not been born. It's entirely possible I would've gone down the same path regardless. Something else could have set me off.

Your mother's and Isshiki's death are my fault, and my fault alone.

[foolishjustice]

But I can take a guess, based on patterns of behavior. Deducing the likelihood of situations is part of my job, after all.

[makejapangreat]

Either way, it is not a reflection on you.

[foolishjustice]

...That's part of the problem, isn't it? Who I was didn't matter, just that I was.

[makejapangreat]

Then consider this. What if it had been Wakaba Isshiki instead of your mother? If it'd been her daughter instead of you?

Would you still feel the same way?

[foolishjustice]

[Congratulations, Shido! You've actually gotten him to go quiet and think.]

...From everything I've heard about what happened to Futaba-chan after her mother's death, I'm just angry on her behalf.

[makejapangreat]

And as you should be angry on your behalf, rather than angry at yourself. You were in the system for most of your life, weren't you? [A sigh.] That's a terrible thing to happen to a child, and you certainly didn't deserve it.

[foolishjustice]

I am angry at the society that treated me like filth and left my mother not even able to rely on her family, and of course I'm beyond angry at you for taking advantage of that to try to get rid of us both. I'm angry at the scum that pretended to be my foster parents too, even if they are getting what they deserve now.

[Because of course the first thing he did with his powers was find ways to air the dirty laundry of people who'd hurt him.]

I'm perfectly capable of being angry at multiple targets.

[makejapangreat]

And your anger is justified. But not at yourself.

You did nothing wrong.

[foolishjustice]

I didn't try to put a bullet in your head as soon as I found out you expected me to kill people. How is that nothing wrong? I knew I was going to die in the end either way, so how was it not selfish of me to hold on for an extra three years when I could've made sure you'd be the only blood I might have had on my hands?

[makejapangreat]

[Shido gives a sigh.] You were still so young when you came to me. You are still so young. And the younger you are, the more irrational you tend to be. Especially yourself, who had already gone through so much hardship.

To some degree, it is good that you feel guilt. It means you understand the weight of the consequences your actions had. But you should not continue to persecute yourself for something that you ultimately had very little say in.

[foolishjustice]

...I did think about it. About causing a mental shutdown in you, or just killing you in the real world. It's not that it never crossed my mind, as much as I wanted the satisfaction of seeing you humiliated at the height of your fame...I was just too much of a damn coward to actually try.

[makejapangreat]

It's not likely you would have succeeded, had you tried more conventional methods.

[But he can't say anything of the Cognitive World... he did, at least, try to read up on Wakaba's research as quickly as he could to ensure protection against his newest employee.]