phantasmalrift | IC INTRO

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!intro

IC INTRO - JAN 2019

Sometime after the group all heads back down the mountain, comes another mass text from home base -

Hey guys? We started getting some weird readings overnight... It might be good if you started heading back this way? We're not sure what the Fissure is doing right now. (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)

So back you had better come! Along with that new friend of yours, who surely won't raise questions...

With the time issue being what it is, it's over the course of a day or two that people actually get back to the Station. Thus, there is no single feast set up like usual; instead, there are lots of hot drinks and various pots of soup made up throughout the two days that people trickle back to base. It's warm and filling, can't ask for much more.

The Station you return to hasn't changed that much from the one you left, though all your left behind pets are very glad to see you. It's now January and frost is on the ground, though not snow, at least for now. There is an air of emptiness around the Station that the first group of arrivals - the few of you who remain - will likely find familiar, though the murder sign has been updated while you were away as usual.

The androids, for their part, are very glad to see everyone (or at least, most everyone) returned safe and sound. (Though certain injured parties are destined for the medbay and Strange's fussing before they even get a chance to settle on rooms of their own.) In particular, Muon - now in a bright yellow vest instead of her previous scarf - spends a lot of time hanging out in the glider bay to welcome everyone back, both new faces and old.

TRADING POST - STRANGE - MUON - SIGNAGE CATCHALL - And don't forget to get on the housing post!

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Man, a fucking nother one? I dunno that any of the others had to keep a god from eating them, but the mass kidnapping thing, yeah. Did you guys have to murder each other, too?

[...Oh goodness. He kind of wants to touch. Do Haunters like being pet? Time to find out.] Meh, ghosts aren't weird. What's definitely weird is if you have the capability to enslave a human soul. Wouldn't that kind of make you Ghostbusters, only not all Slimers are evil?

The humans there all seem so fine with it. I would have thought they wouldn't be. Back home, we could barely get dead humans to do anything to each other.

[Jane leans into being pet, letting out a friendly Haaaaunt.]

Why would we have to murder each other? Is that why there's a sign on the wall about murder?

[Hey big creepy possibly disembodied human soul! Who's a good abomination unto god and all that is holy?]

Yeaaaah, you'd be amazed how many of us came out of murdergames. Like, not just one, but several different ones. Murdersign's just to keep people feeling a little bit safer. Shitsign's about not inadvertently--or deliberately--poking people's trauma triggers.

You work around ghosts a lot?

[She seems to be variably solid. Enjoy when your hand just kinda sinks into there.]

Used to work in Hell. Those aren't technically ghosts, just regular dead people, but it's a similar theory.

You know Hell's not r-- [hmmmm, maybe back that up a little.] Maybe your place has a Hell? That or I'm gonna eat a fuckload of crow when I finally die-die.

[His scrunchy face does not abate when his hand starts sinking in aaaaand we're going to stop petting the ghost now! That was an experience.] Far as I'm concerned, dead people still walking tend to be ghosts, except when they're zombies, but to be fair I also only have experience when they come back to the plane of he living. [honey you know better by now those aren't ghosts]

My place is Hell. Well, that's a human conception. Our term just translates to "the Bad Place".

[That's okay! Jane nods and floats back over to Michael, who will go on petting her. He doesn't even seem to register the sinking.]

Ghosts and zombies aren't real, for us. I did get some people sent back to Earth, but that was more of a timeline alteration. So they were never dead to begin with now.

That still seems really...Christian-leaning. Which. ...Maybe I don't want to get into a theological debate. What's it like to work in Hell? Do you get to stab people with pitchforks and throw them in burning oil or whatever else Dante wanted people to believe in his wild fanfic?

Oh, no, all the Christians go there too. Everybody goes there.

[.....]

Only in certain areas of the Burning Oil department.

No, I mean, I'd hope everyone would go there, not just certain faiths, just, I mean, the fact that there's not only an afterlife, but that afterlife consists of a--oh, shit, is there a Heaven, too? Is there a god? Is there...capital-G God? [EXISTENTIAL CRISIS?]

Yes, no, no. For my universe, I met a dozen gods in the Pokemon one. Apparently you could put them in Pokeballs sometimes, so I don't really know what their deal was. All the rules we use for judging humanity are worked out by the Judge and the Accounting department, they're just neutral entities.

And seriously? You'd hope literally everybody goes to hell?

Man, I do not fuck with the weirdo laws of the Pokemon world, I was only there for a beach vacation and a wedding.

...When you said everyone you mean every single person winds up in hell? Is it cuz we're all pieces of shit? Nobody goes to heaven? Not even all dogs? Or are you more just a purgatory?

People used to go to heaven sometimes. But apparently not for the past five hundred-odd years. It's not your fault, everything's just gone to shit...

It'll be fine. I'll fix it.

Thhhhaaaaat's a lot for one...guy[?] to fix.

Well, I don't see anyone else bothering to do anything.

[Okay, it was a very valid point, no need to get defensive.]

There's a Pokemon god of death, I'm gonna try to get it to help too.

I'm sure there's no way that could possibly go wrong.

[Shrug]

What's it gonna do, kill me?

Why not? Maybe you're an idea made manifest or some mumbo jumbo, but you're still manifested.

We're not even capable of killing each other. Besides, the Pokemon gods are chill as long as you don't do anything aggressive. Even after you do, honestly. They will forgive a lot.

[Just. So, so much.]

Speaking of which, their supreme creator god owes me. As do half the other ones.

Listen. Dude. I don't even want to be talking regular religious afterlife-y theologistics in whatever universe you hail from. I definitely don't want to get caught up on the idea that Poke-critters have a creator god and a death god like a Poke-pantheon. I'm trying hard not to ask how that even works.

Well, none of it's really your problem. But you did ask!

I know I asked, but like! Come on, man, everything about where you're from and where you're from before that sounds really weird and liable to cause a lot of existential crisis...es...and I don't need more of those!

Alright, alright.

[He lifts his hands in mock surrender.]

You wanna talk about Pokemon? Pretty sure most of mine are widely considered cute. Especially Lena - [He leans down and plops the Mawile in his lap.] - just look at the front face.

Oh, yeah, the front face is plenty cute. [He's not sure about Giant Floating Human Soul Head, but it sure acts cute enough.] And the cat's cute. The...wyvern? Wyrm-with-a-y? Dragon-worm? That thing's pretty cute. You a fan of cute things? Who am I kidding, everyone loves cute things.

Oh, sure. My concept of it might be a little different sometimes, though. I like the scary tooth mouth.

My bird can play music, too. That's pretty fun.

Hey, so can mine! Or like, technically my husband's. Usually she only does Queen, but we can teach her other tunes, too.

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eudaimonikos - 2019-01-11 15:35 (UTC) - Expand

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motherfucking_ghost - 2019-01-12 17:46 (UTC) - Expand

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