DUNGEON - BELLMARE ENCLAVE (BELLMARE MOUNTAINS, PT 2)

[phantasmods]

The shadows are starting to grow very long as you crest his particular ridge - it's not night yet, but it will be soon. In the shadows of the afternoon, with a tall mountain already blocking the sun, lies a snow-covered valley that is different from the ones you've come across thus far in your investigation.

This valley is home to a town, and unlike all the settlements you've seen so far - Incendia, the Telovia mining town, and the manor - it's very much active. There are actual people in the streets, visible from above, going through their days on snow-free streets, bundled up against the cold.

Those of you who asked were told of the handful of people who didn't go into the slumber of stasis as the Fissure conditions of the world grew worse and worse, instead isolating themselves and trying to continue living their lives as they could. Now, it seems, you've found exactly such a group.

Welcome to the Bellmare Enclave, and enjoy your stay.

[[OOC: Welcome to part 2 of the dungeon! For the most part, interaction with the town's NPCs can be handwaved as described on the main information post. Worth noting are the following major things: The Bellmare Enclave isn't expecting visitors, though the people are generally friendly to the new arrivals. They don't know about the time dilation effect of their Fissure - to them, it's only been about eighteen years since the Slumber Plan was put in place and they withdrew from the world. And finally, by a similar token, they have no idea how far the Fissures outside of their own have grown - while it's not uncommon for them to find odd objects from time to time, they'll assume that the characters are just arrivals from other places within their own world, rather than outsiders, until told otherwise.]]

Comments

[nojohnyouare]

[She grips the sword with a serious look. Bear-san growls behind her, though he doesn't seem to understand.]

Maybe not there and then. But here and now... You've worked hard. To be different.

[foolishjustice]

[He clenches his fists, glaring at the ground.]

...I tried to kill him myself, when he first got here. No, not even just kill him...I tormented him. I wanted to take my time and make him die slowly.

[nojohnyouare]

...

[Mai relaxes her grip on the sword a little bit.]

Emotions are hard. And facing someone who's hurt you... Wanting to turn everything they did onto them. I've seen that before, too.

[She closes her eyes and shakes her head.]

...Variations. Worlds where one thing changed. Like the different versions of your world that brought people to the station. This is another one. Not yours.

[foolishjustice]

I know. The way I feel toward him now...I understand the difference between taking it out on him as he was when I left my world, and taking it out on him when he understands what he did wrong.

But it's much too easy to imagine this being what I would've done if I'd never come here.

cw death, implied suicidal ideation

[nojohnyouare]

[Mai doesn't respond in words. She stays there for a moment, quiet, and then nods. She's about to speak.

Another illusion-memory hits. This time, they're in a round room, decked out in red and gold with very tall walls and a domed ceiling, the banners and other decor in the room tacky in a way that suggests too much money. The only furniture inside consists of shiny gold podiums in a circle. It's a murdergame courtroom, Goro, you know those well enough not to have to roll for it.

Mai is standing at one podium, shock and horror on her normally emotionless face. It passes quickly. At the one to her left is a woman who looks almost exactly like her, down to the lavender ribbon holding her hair back. The clothes are different, but similar colours, less modern; her skin is pale, hair white, and eyes red. And in the middle of the circle is another Mai, this one a child version wearing a bunny-ear headband, who's just finished saying something. The white-haired woman's face darkens.

"This was your fault. Michaela is dead because of YOU!"

The way this is an AU becomes clear momentarily. When the others nearby grab for her (Yuuri, Arianna, a young man with white hair you don't recognize), they miss. Clarith manages to get her hands around Mai's neck. Mai's expression leaves her. She doesn't move to stop it.

The memory ends there. Bear-san growls at the empty air. Mai doesn't move then, either.]

...I was going to let her. Back then.

[foolishjustice]

[He blinks, startled by the vision...and the familiar arrangement. There are more podiums than he's used to, but the layout is the same. It's a painful enough comparison that he tenses...before walking over to put a hand on Mai's shoulder.]

...You felt like you deserved it, right?

[nojohnyouare]

[Slowly, she nods. Bear-san makes a concerned noise and Mai pets him.]

She lost what she was living for. So did I. ...You have things to live for now. Right?

[Or, uh, unlive.]

CW: suicidal ideation here, too

[foolishjustice]

I do...I wouldn't be here, otherwise. I voted for myself at my trial, without knowing at the time that I would continue as a ghost. It was...the friends I made there that convinced me to come back.

...What about you?

[nojohnyouare]

...I still don't have dreams yet. But I have my hope back. And people I love. A lot of them, now.

You're better. And you're doing everything you can.

[Bear-san chimes in with what might be a sound of affirmation? It could just mean he's hungry again. It's hard to tell how much he understands, really.]

That's why... I think you're a good person.

[foolishjustice]

I still think that's a little far.

[He adjusts his gloves, pristine white. A holdover from more innocent times.]

...I was a murderer long before the mall.

[nojohnyouare]

...

[Mai touches his arm briefly, returning the assuring gesture. Bear-san sniffs Goro.]

I remember.

[foolishjustice]

[Bear-san will find that he smells heavily of coffee and strawberry-scented soap.]

A good person wouldn't have been able to convince himself that it was an acceptable sacrifice.

[nojohnyouare]

[It's the same thing Oda said. That he wasn't a good person because of what he did, even if it was for his family. She frowns a little.]

A good person can do a lot of things. Bad things. They might be wrong. But... Not impossible to stop. Or to change.

[foolishjustice]

...I knew, on some level, that I was wrong. I had to die and have my motivation taken as the price before I could start to change.

[nojohnyouare]

...

[Mai shakes her head regardless.]

And you did. Even if there was something else involved.

[foolishjustice]

[He sighs and pushes his mask up to rub at his face.]

It's still...difficult, to put who I was behind me. When others think of me as a good person, I doubt that they're considering all of me.

[nojohnyouare]

Everyone has different parts of themselves. Things they hide. Push away. Show in different places. ...You know that more than most.

[foolishjustice]

And can someone really claim to be a good person if part of what they're hiding is a capacity for extreme cruelty?

[nojohnyouare]

"Can." "Have." "Will." "Want to." ...Different. Even if you can hurt someone. Even if sometimes you want to. And even if you have in the past. You've been trying your best.

...I think you're good. And I see you. Even if you don't feel like you are.

[foolishjustice]

[He lets out a breath, then gives a faint smile.]

...Thank you.

[nojohnyouare]

[Mai is quiet, but gives a tiny smile back.]

Do you need to rest.

[foolishjustice]

I...think I'll be fine. I've worked through worse exhaustion before.

[Granted, the exhaustion that comes after Awakening is...something special.]

[nojohnyouare]

...

[Mai doesn't press it, but she waits, petting a confused Bear-san.]

I'm out of food. Sorry. ...We can wait for a while.

[foolishjustice]

If he's hungry, I always keep plenty of food on me.

[nojohnyouare]

[Bear-san makes an excited noise and lumbers back over to Goro happily.]

I ran out of rations. And I couldn't bring him into town. Thank you.