Here kitty kitty...

[foolishjustice]

Who: Goro Akechi and Masayoshi Shido
What: Working to overcome a phobia
When: Late afternoon a couple days after the return from Silveragle Manor, and probably ongoing.
Where: The field outside the station
Warnings: PTSD, probably panic attacks and possibly flashbacks to traumatic death.

[With the weather cooling off, going out during the day is a bit less miserable...but the days are also shorter. The end result is that it's about dusk when Goro steps out into the field between the station and the sakura grove, having already messaged Shido. She's left behind most of her jewelry, as usual, and is wearing her boots rather than sandals.

She's also clearly nervous, fidgeting with some of her remaining bracelets. She'd handled herself well enough when Shido had fought as a lion in the Palace, but it had still taken every ounce of self-control she had not to bolt. And even more than the fact that she's going to be working more on her phobia...this is going to be the first time her father has seen her as a girl. How will he react? Especially since...she looks even more like her mother with the slight changes to facial structure.]

Comments

[makejapangreat]

[Back to this... it's strange, how routine something like this has become. It's... nice, in a way, because he often spends time with his son after each session, helping him unwind from a tense situation. And sometimes, he even so much as offers him comfort. He'd much rather Goro never had been traumatized in such a brutal way, but...

At least, it's helped bring them closer together. For that much, he's thankful.

When he sees Goro at first... he falters. His breath catches, and his chest is tight.

He knows it must be his son. It has to be his son. It couldn't be. . .]

[foolishjustice]

[She offers a tense smile, letting go of her bracelets to wave.]

I've...been working on my shapeshifting. I can change my appearance pretty much however I want, now.

[makejapangreat]

[The voice is sweet and light, nothing like Kishi's rougher, slightly lower and sharper voice, and that's enough to snap him back to reality. He draws in breath, then gives a smile that's just a tad forced.]

I see. Looks like you've been having great success with it.

[foolishjustice]

Things like this seem to come pretty easily to me. I can still change back to what I was in the Fissure, too. In fact, I probably will for this...that form comes with the ability to see in the dark.

[makejapangreat]

I see... that is quite helpful. I suppose we don't have much need for the lamps, then.

[He gives a nod.]

Are you ready?

[foolishjustice]

[The black crow wings spread out from her back, shedding a few small feathers in the process. Then she takes a deep breath to steel her nerves, and nods.]

As much as I will be.

[makejapangreat]

[He turns, and walks to his designated location before turning into a lion and lying on the ground. He supposes he ought to... make an extra effort not to let his thoughts take a turn for the darker, as they usually seem to do. Morgana isn't here to smack the sense back into him, after all. Instead, he quietly contemplates what he should try to learn to cook next...]

[foolishjustice]

[Prepared or not, she can't quite help tensing this time. Her wings flutter nervously...but it's not nearly enough to send her running. After a moment to calm her nerves, she takes a few cautious steps forward, only to balk. Her wings flutter again, but for the moment, it doesn't seem any worse than the initial start. She certainly isn't giving any ground.]

[makejapangreat]

[Hm... he really should start perfecting his omurice technique, shouldn't he? And perhaps some other breakfast foods, as well. He knows his son enjoys pancakes... and would probably also appreciate it if Shido learned to make things that wasn't seafood.]

[foolishjustice]

[The balk, it seems, is momentary. She shakes her head lightly, clearing her head. She managed while Shido was fighting in this form, so this should be easy, right? It wasn't easy, she'll admit to that, but she did manage, and that's so much more than she ever could have expected at the start of this.

She's snapped out of her thoughts by a light breeze, starting again when her attention refocuses on the lion. But again, she doesn't go anywhere, hands clenching as she fights against the nervous hesitation. This time, it's a loosing battle, and she scoots back as the fear surges. By the time she gets herself back under control, she's back where she started...]

[makejapangreat]

[He can hear Goro struggling, but he supposes that's natural; it's been awhile since they've done this sort of thing, after all. But he has to admit he still much prefers this to going to the Fissures. It seems no matter how much he tries, he always feels out of his depth...]

[foolishjustice]

[Once she gets her head clear, she gives her wings a stubborn flap and pushes forward again, even past where she was before. She pauses for only a brief moment there, before pushing forward again. At a little bit more than twice the distance she covered before, she hesitates. Her wings fluff nervously for a moment, but then she takes a breath and exhales heavily before she edges forward even more.

It's a mistake. As she gets closer, the fear wells up again, until her courage falters and she scrambles more than halfway back to where she started. There, she digs in her feet as panic tries to overwhelm her, terrifying memories of helplessness and agony pushing at the back of her mind. She's stronger than the fear, able to force it down, but it's mentally exhausting. She tries to speak up to call a time out, only to realize there's no air in her lungs. Instead, she holds up a hand, hoping Shido will get what she means.]

[makejapangreat]

[The scrambling noises are definitely enough to get his attention, and he looks over to see Goro on the edge of panic again. Obediently, he reverts to his human form and sits up, gently calling over.]

There's no need to push yourself. Take it easy, son.

[foolishjustice]

[By the time the next practice session comes, the Station has already started to acquire Halloween decorations. Goro's had a busy day of crafts and baking already by the time she heads out, freshly changed into clothes that don't have bits of pumpkin or paper clinging to them. Her ponytail has been changed to only tie up half of her hair with the cooling weather, but it still pulls enough away to show her newly pierced right ear.

Like last time, she finds herself fidgeting with some of her jewelry. She'll be starting off closer this time, which means less time until she hits the critical distance. After what happened last time, it's hard not to worry...]

[makejapangreat]

Got a new piercing, I see.

[The appearance, at least, doesn't come as much of a shock as it did last time, and he easily strides up to his son (...currently daughter) as he glances curiously at the mentioned ear. And then his gaze flicks to Goro's eyes, and he takes in his expression with a quiet hum.]

Nervous?

[foolishjustice]

[She lets go of her bracelet in favor of reaching up to turn the new earring.]

I wanted one free for a bit more variety. I've seen a lot of earrings I like, but I want to keep my mothers' in whenever I'm not in a Fissure.

[But...oops, called out on the nerves.]

And...a bit. Mostly about once I get close.

[makejapangreat]

You're a big fan of jewelry, aren't you?

[It's still so bemusing, how his son absolutely shatters everything Shido has even known about being a man. Love for jewelry, for women's clothing, even willfully changing into the opposite sex... and yet he claims he has no preference either way. . .

There's some excessive awkwardness, for a moment, before Shido speaks.]

I really wouldn't mind if you do prefer being a woman, you know.

[foolishjustice]

I'm...both. But right now...have you ever found something that you hadn't realized you'd been missing something without, and then it felt so exciting having it that you had a hard time stepping away from it for a little while?

[makejapangreat]

[He considers the words for a moment, then gives a hesitant nod.] I have, yes.

[foolishjustice]

It's like that. Back home, I couldn't wear girl's clothes, because I had to maintain a certain image as a detective. Shirogane-shodai changed attitudes a fair amount, but there's still an attitude that she can handle a men's job because she's so boyish. So...a boy who likes girls' things still wouldn't be very welcome.

Here, I don't have to worry about that. I can do all the girly things that would've gotten me mocked back home. I still enjoy my more masculine hobbies, of course, but it's only recently that the weather has cooled off enough for me to consider going back to doing things outside. And now that I can be physically female, it's like...like it's balancing scales. I've spent my whole life with only one option, and now I feel like I should make up for lost time with the other. Obviously I'm not going to spend the next nineteen years in female form, I've switched back to male a couple times in the past week already, but I'm likely to favor it for a while. Especially since I won't exactly be able to run around using obvious magic when I get back home. Not unless the Phantom Thieves' publicity leaves the supernatural more widely acknowledged.

[makejapangreat]

[Hmm...]

I'm sure you could still get away with whatever you wanted in the safety of your home. But... [but???] You do whatever is best for you, Goro. So as long as you're happy... [He shrugs.] I couldn't want anything else.

[foolishjustice]

At home, certainly. But if it's anything like my orientation, it's going to feel a little frustrating being able to express it privately but not publicly. I want to take advantage of this chance while I have it, especially since it's likely to be a couple months at least before I don't have to worry about coming across as too girly to be a detective.

[makejapangreat]

Of course...

[...yeah, he still doesn't really get it, but he's going to go get into position.]

Ready?

[foolishjustice]

[She shifts, taking a breath to steady herself, and nods.]

Ready.

[makejapangreat]

[Is it unsettling to see a lion materialize so much closer to you, Goro? Because that is certainly happening... and he's laying down on the ground and on his side, tail giving a single thump against the ground before it stills.]