and for the dark; and for the light

[founderinglight]

Who: Izunia and you! Especially if you are Ardyn or Maddie.
What: Birthday bros! And a few other conversations. Also, Armiger practice.
Where: Rise kitchens, library, a few other places.
When: The last few days of August and the first week of September.
Warnings: Murdergame discussion likely in Ardyn's thread; child abuse/neglect discussion likely in Maddie's.

[Aug 30; Text -> Kitchens, closed to Ardyn]

[Early afternoon comes a message from Ardyn's least favorite twin - ]

If you're still willing to participate in birthday cake production and related activities, I'll be settling up in the kitchens here in about an hour.

[Always leave him room to back out - truthfully Izunia is still extremely surprised that Ardyn agreed to the idea in the first place. But he'll be at the kitchens at the appointed hour, idly scrubbing pans and loading the dishwasher while he waits, very much not starting on the cake itself until Ardyn arrives.]

[Aug 30; Kitchens/common room, later]

[It appears that someone has set up... a surprising quantity of nicely decorated cake out? And there's also ice cream cake in the freezer. How'd that happen.

If you fail to run into the culprit, you might discover Izunia sprawled across one of the common room couches, a plate with no less than three kinds of cake on it. Most of them are the well-decorated ones, but there's also a very plain one that just says CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'VE AGED on it.

He's also keeping a particular eye out for Maddie if she passes through.]

[Library, Aug 28-Sept 3rd minus the 30th]

[Outside of his birthday celebrations - lowkey as they are - Izunia can mostly be found in the library this week. As usual, a good portion of what he can be caught reading is magic-related texts, but there's also a genuinely shocking number of children's and YA novels getting stacked up next to him, sorted into a series of piles. He seems to be churning through them in about half an hour to an hour a piece, so it's... getting to be a lot by the time he packs it in for the day each day, even with the usual amount of Nap.]

[Beach, Sept 4th, night]

[It's a very far way off from the Station that the flashes of blue light can be seen, and likely to very unusual to those who recognize their source. It's hardly just the trails and afterimages of warping and phasing that hang in the air, though. The shapes of Royal Arms hanging in the air, but also the orbs of light that are seemingly his to conjure now -

It's rare to see Izunia push himself, usually confident in his abilities, but it seems like he's doing so now. And it's suitably impressive, but something about his posture seems unsatisfied...

Hopefully, you weren't so foolish as to approach without a light, though, because if you hadn't heard, the guy flinging explosive balls of light and a variety of magical weapons around is Jumpy in the Dark.

And much later that night, you might catch him returning to the station, physically exhausted but with the usual air of warm gentleness about him, and rather a lot of sand still clinging to his clothes.]

Comments

[founderinglight]

[Izunia just hums agreement to the first part. More than a human mind is meant to hold, yes - they're entirely the same in that regard.]

Much of mine is from other people, and I've left it go - the things that aren't truly important blurred out, and that is probably for the better for all parties. Being a king means no privacy, either.

[At least not for any of the ones after him, who inherited a ring no longer empty.]

If there is one thing that I've learned - people don't change unless they have a reason to change. Even humans. The mansion didn't just give you the ability, it gave you the reason, and without either... No, I would say even more, without the reason you would have remained static. It just happened to be the right combination of erosion and pressure to wear the human out from the obsidian cage.

[burninglight]

...I was lucky. Lucky to meet people willing to take my hand and pull me out of that cage when I couldn't leave it myself. If they hadn't been so persistent I might never have escaped it at all.

[founderinglight]

I know.

[Inhale, exhale, dump a cup of flour into the bowl.]

... It shouldn't have to come down to luck.

[burninglight]

No.

[A slow breath, and he stood up to dust himself off and put the chair back in the Armiger.]

But it did, and there's no changing what's been done.

[founderinglight]

It did.

[Izunia stirs the bowl slowly, mixing the dry goods before he even considers adding the wet ones. The ice cream churns away a little further down the counter, and...

Things are okay.]

All any of us can do to make it better is to keep offering our hands for breaking cages.

[burninglight]

[Ardyn stepped back over to the counter, taking inventory of what he'd been doing as if trying to catch up with himself and look for a place to resume before picking back up.]

...I suppose you're right about that.

[founderinglight]

[It's a cake, get some more eggs cracked.

Izunia just smiles at him silently for a moment.]

And it's that person that I'm proud to call my brother.

[burninglight]

I'm not sure I know what you mean.

[founderinglight]

It's... Hmm.

[How does he explain... here, whisk, he needs you for a minute.]

Because you decided on what kind of person to be without anyone else's expectations on you. You could have been bitter, looked out only for your own or even only for yourself, could have chosen to not go on at all.

But every day you're choosing to be this person, right here - the one who is trying to be better even when you stumble and fall.

[He doesn't even realize he's dropped the lyric in there.]

Being a 'good person' is easy for some people, but for you it takes effort. And you still put forth that effort into being, if not good, at least better. And trying is more admirable than succeeding.

[burninglight]

...Sometimes it feels insincere. As though I'm trying too hard out of fear of myself. Not that it's some matter of going through the motions for the sake of it; I just worry that there's no line between 'this is what I want to do' and 'this is what I want to do so people aren't afraid of me'. Prompto's friends, when I first met them--they were right to look at me like I wa some kind of monster, but the fact that I deserved it doesn't mean it hurt any less. Even Connie, when I showed her the Armiger...their world doesn't have shit like magic, she sounded horrified about what she knew I could do.

[Ardyn shook his head to stop rambling, taking a slow breath.]

At the worst I start to worry if Ardyn Tenmyouji is just another persona. That I'm just overcompensating and acting to hide from what I could be if I didn't.

[founderinglight]

The fact that you were hurt by it is proof that you aren't a monster, Ardyn. The monster wouldn't have cared.

[burninglight]

...it's still difficult, finding some middle ground between trying too hard and not trying at all.

[founderinglight]

It is. I don't know if you've noticed, but I tend to err on the side of 'trying too much.'

[Honestly thank Prompto he understands boundaries much at all.]

[burninglight]

I assure you, I've noticed.

[founderinglight]

[And Izunia just laughs, a little self-deprecating.]

Logically I know that people need space, but emotionally... I still panic and think they're going to leave entirely.

[burninglight]

That's what one calls a 'self-fulfilling prophecy', you know. I still feel the same way now and then, but pushing the matter doesn't do anything but drive people away twice as quickly.

[founderinglight]

I know. And I try to keep it contained, for the most part, but sometimes the panic still takes hold.

[burninglight]

Could always try just asking for reassurance instead of clinging to someone's leg like a havocfang trying to rip it off.

[founderinglight]

[Izunia chuckles again and shakes his head.]

Once it gets into family matters, it's hardly that easy.

[The fact that Ardyn offered this, that he's here now, is more than reassuring enough.]

Seeking physical reassurance tends to make things more complicated, too. That's why I'm grateful for Astolfo.

[Always down for a hug, that one.]

[burninglight]

And I'm sure your tendency to make things difficult has nothing to do with it.

[Eyeroll.]

[founderinglight]

I don't try to make things difficult. I just may as well be speaking a different language half the time for all that my intended meaning is understood.

[burninglight]

Most of us don't speak your dialect of idiot.

[founderinglight]

They're mutually unintelligible.

[I mean that's not wrong.]

[burninglight]

And you're no less of a dumbass for it.

[founderinglight]

Nor are you.

[He sighs.]

Is it really that strange? All of your people act like I've done something truly bizarre by thinking the best of them until proven otherwise. By caring about them for no more reason than that they're important to someone important to me.