DUNGEON LOG: KEYSTONE REEF

[phantasmods]

Expedition day dawns, as usual, with an android mass text -

Okay, so, this time we're aiming to go out and stabilize the Fissure in the reef you can see up a little to the north of here. The waters are usually pretty calm this time of year, so if you can swim instead of needing to take a boat, that'd be a great help. We only have a few of them.

Also, I know that last time was a mess, so I'm just gonna say this: If you need to get out for any reason, just send us a message and a picture of your location. We'll get a drone out to you as soon as we can and bring you home. No questions asked.

( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/ Stay safe out there! When you're ready to go, meet us down at the beach. The rocky, sparkly one, not the sandy one.

Unlike previous expeditions, this time there's no rooftop sendoff - instead, as Charm noted, the tables are set up on Glitterstone beach, along with a series of boats pulled up on the sand. Two rowboats that could maybe sit six people but probably better suited for four, a trio of inflatable rafts (with motors attached to the back, all mismatched) of about the same size, a two-person dinghy and a long canoe that could hold two or three.

Besides the little fleet, there's also the usual bagged lunches (in gallon ziplocs this time, and other such watertight containers), and every boat is equipped with a large number of those chepa dollar-store water bottles, all with their airtight store seals. There's also a selection of life vests and other floatation thingies in a box next to the table. Strange hovers over the setup, checking watertightness of a handful of first aid kits with a spritzer and a bucket to submerge things in. They give a little wave to anyone passing by headed to the boats.

For those who opt instead to swim, everything seems perfectly normal until you reach the border of the Fissure... When, very suddenly, it isn't.

Comments

[myocordial]

They're strange and confusing and stubborn and frustrating and very stupid sometimes-- no, often.

[Maybe it's because he's high or maybe it's because of his actual feelings, but somehow, his tone implies none of those are actually a problem.]

[founderinglight]

And emotional and greatly contradictory. And yet, brilliant as the stars in the sky all the same, no two exactly alike.

[How is this the thing they agree on?]

[myocordial]

I've tried hating them. It would've made everything a lot easier.

...I was never very good at it.

[founderinglight]

I don't think true hatred suits you. Not the kind that sinks deep inside and paints you wholly with its stain. You are far better suited to enjoying things.

[myocordial]

Well. Joy is my emotion, after all.

[ . . . ]

I've hated like that before. Once. [He thinks about it. Actual serious thought, as much as he can manage like this. Because this topic deserves it.] ...Maybe twice.

[founderinglight]

It's not a pleasant thing, is it? Burns in the most awful way.

[myocordial]

I wasn't always capable of feeling hatred. Not until it was installed into me. So I remember a time before it. One day the emotion was foreign, the next, there it was. Like a dark fire inside me.

...Sometimes it can be useful.

[founderinglight]

...Sometimes, yes. But like any fire, it can also burn the things you love.

[Oh boy they're definitely getting real in here right now.]

[myocordial]

If not controlled. Yes. I wouldn't have minded burning some more. I have someone very flammable in mind.

[A very specific tree.]

...I needed it. Hatred. Otherwise, I... we... [He doesn't quite trail off and he doesn't quite hesitate, but saying what he wants to say is still difficult.] Things would have been very different. Worse.

Much, much worse.

[founderinglight]

Or if you are simply blind.

[After all, his hatred was a very precise tool... Just one aimed at the wrong target.

He may not understand what exactly Heart means, but he can agree with the sentiment.]

It can keep you alive, but eventually it will leave you with nothing to burn but yourself.

[myocordial]

Yes, sometimes people use it wrong. Very wrong.

[Even now we're not free of Heart being very passive aggressive, sorry not sorry Izunia.]

I find that it drives me quite nicely still. Or maybe that's just spite now. Regardless, I don't think that hatred will be going anywhere. Not anytime soon.

[founderinglight]

...I wanted to hurt what took him away from me. Even you cannot blame me for that.

[Blame him for being an idiot and not seeing where the true responsibility lay, sure.

But not for that.]

[myocordial]

Even though it was in the shape of him?

[founderinglight]

Most daemons have at least vaguely humanoid forms, and they're known to occasionally remember fragments of things, strong impressions from who they were in life.

How was I to know that he was the one case in all of history that was different, especially when the gods themselves told me otherwise?

[He's quiet for a long enough moment that it almost seems like he's done speaking, but then - ]

You saw for yourself. He didn't look human anymore, except in the vaguest sense.

[myocordial]

Human enough.

[The way he says it is determined and very final.]

...I want to know. Did you try?

[founderinglight]

Perhaps to you.

[To someone who has never seen anything but humans and daemons in their life? A very different perspective.]

Did I try what?

[myocordial]

Anything.

Anything else.

cw suicidal ideation

[founderinglight]

...I believed 'Ardyn' already dead. I...

[No amount of fishy euphoria can really help him now. He's very obviously distressed, and it all just kind of tumbles out.]

The first time was an accident. Not the executions. Just a terrible, terrible fucking accident and he was gone and I couldn't stand it. Couldn't deal with a world without him in it, couldn't deal with seeing his face on what I thought was a monster to remind me of it constantly.

...Couldn't end myself, not when the people he loved so much needed someone and I was the only option left.

[myocordial]

So that would be a no, then.

[The euphoria does little to help the other end of the conversation either. The rush seems almost forgettable now, only amounting to a haze that makes it harder to think and numbs some of the emotions that don't come through quite right.

But the spike of anger is unmistakable. And it clears his head for a moment.]

...I do believe you. That it was an accident. And I don't... cannot fault you for that one, at least. [Maybe he shouldn't bother giving Izunia the benefit of the doubt, but he will.] But the rest?

That's a different story. One that I very much do despise you for.

[He can be very honest about that right now. No filter.]

They got a very poor substitute.

[founderinglight]

...I do not ask forgiveness. That's something none of you can seem to get through your heads. I have never asked for that.

[He folds his arms around himself, as though suddenly chilled, and a little color works itself back into the paleness of his tentacles.]

All I ask is that if you are to despise me, that it be for me, not the barest outline of what Ardyn remembers of me. Because that doesn't even deserve to be called a sketch. He -

[A deep breath, gills flaring.]

He doesn't remember me much at all.

[myocordial]

Yes, I know. Did I mention forgiveness at all?

You did still kill him numerous times after the first. It was no accident. You might not be asking forgiveness, but you are certainly quick to offer up explanations and justifications and circumstances. And I really... really do not care.

Maybe you can get that through your head.

I despise you for those actions and they were your actions. By your own admission. So you have your wish.

[...]

I hope you're not expecting sympathy from me.

You're not that stupid.

[founderinglight]

In the end, I'm only human. Illogical, emotional, selfish and selfless by turns, like anyone else.

[Perhaps surprisingly, he smiles, just a little.]

I do appreciate it. You.

1/3

[myocordial]

So you are, yes.

[And this time, that does sound like a problem.]

You--

2/3

[myocordial]

[ ]

[myocordial]

...Sorry, what?

[How the hell does that track, Zuzu???]