A different meaning to Hell's Kitchen...

[foolishjustice]

Who: Goro Akechi and poor unfortunate souls (AKA, open)
What: Goro tries to cook...it goes even worse than usual.
When: May 17
Where: One of the kitchens
Warnings: Crimes against food.

[It starts innocently enough. Goro is bustling around the kitchen, encouraged by his slowly improving cooking skills to try to prepare something for the expedition this weekend. From the ingredients he's working with, it seems like he's making an attempt at a venison curry.

It goes wrong. It goes horribly wrong. The vile concoction he pulls off the stove an hour or two later doesn't even bear a passing resemblance to what he put into it. Bubbles rise slowly through the sludge, releasing noxious smelling fumes as they pop with a sick burbling sound. The color, at least, is right...perhaps a little darker than it should be, but reasonable for curry. Except the smoke that wafts off the burned food is tinted an acrid purple.

As Goro moves to pull the 'food' off the heat, Morrigan the magpie settles on his shoulder, hoping to beg a taste...only to let out a caw of distress and fly away in a panic as one of the bubbles bursts. The face the would-be chef makes as he sets the pot on the table is one of pure pain. How...how did this happen.]

Comments

[beguiledcard]

[ The bird flying past him in a panic actually startles him, and Akira gives a frown of immediate concern.

His expression relaxes as he gets into the kitchen, though only for a brief moment. With a quiet sound of worry, he makes his way over to Goro and rests a hand on his shoulder-- ]

!?

[ His other hand immediately moves to his mouth. ]

Ah... honey?

[ Wh-... what the hell.... happened........ ]

[foolishjustice]

I...was trying to make curry.

[Trying...being the operative word.]

[beguiledcard]

[ ... Oh...

His expression softens. There's a moment of consideration... Because, honestly...? How bad could it be??? Maybe it's just the smell! And the... color of the smoke could just be... a harmless science thing, hahaha...

He's probably going to regret it, but he takes a spoon and takes a bite....

... and immediately drops to the fucking floor.



He's almost dead, Jim. ]

[nojohnyouare]

...............................What.

[foolishjustice]

I don't know...

[nojohnyouare]

[She stares at the food and finally just shakes her head.]

How.

[dragonmouth]

[Tali had made what looks like a fruity coconut milk rice porridge and a side of some seared fish when Morrigan comes flying in her general direction.

Welp, she's totally dodging out of the way... Only to knock over a chair in the process.]

[foolishjustice]

[Morrigan eventually settles on the other side of the kitchen from her owner, feathers fluffed in distress.

Goro himself jumps at the sound of the chair falling, though fortunately he doesn't knock over the horrid concoction.]

Are you alright?

[dragonmouth]

I was more than a little startled.

[ She's going to set the chair upright again, then turn to her fish and rice porridge. She ducks into the kitchen, briefly, to search for another plate, then sets a little aside for the birb. ]

Here, now...

[letsplayer]

[Marla's going to restock on drinks for her mini fridge and take account of what's in the storage so she can start working on those box lunches for the dungeon crawlers.

Then she examines the Mystery Food X... and takes a spoon, shoveling some of it into her mouth.]

[foolishjustice]

Marla, wait-!

[Too late, she's already shoved it into her mouth. Is...this what Akira felt like, watching him with the special takoyaki?]

Even I wouldn't eat that...

Emeto

[letsplayer]

[She chews slowly, her expression becoming more and more displeased.

As her face pales, she runs to the sink, and...

Oh. Oh.

After some truly hellish noises, she raises her hand. ]

Ginger ale.

[theosophomoric]

Is it - ah - supposed to be doing that? [Sonja's voice is a little muffled by the handkerchief she's holding over her mouth and nose, as she looks at the pot of... whatever that is... with a mix of curiosity and horror.]

[foolishjustice]

No. I don't even know why it's doing that.

[theosophomoric]

Oh dear. [The handkerchief is staying firmly over her face, for whatever good it's doing.] What did you put in it?

[anarchia]

Try to have some consideration for us with a heightened sense of smell.

[It looks like it physically hurts him with the way his nose is wrinkled and his ears are flattened.]

[foolishjustice]

[Oh, a talking wolf. That's interesting.]

It's not supposed to smell anything like this. I'm sorry.

[anarchia]

[He tries to approach the pot, but, as the smell gets more pungent, he finds himself starting to cower, tail ducking between his legs.

Though he has little control over involuntary body language, it doesn't do well for his image to look so scared of a mere cooking abomination. He pushes himself onward, scrabbling his paws atop the counter to look at the fruits of Goro's labors...

...it's not a pretty sight. He's seen corpses mutilated in, frankly, a creative amount of ways, he's been subjected to experimental procedures that have involved the warping and mutation of flesh, and yet none of them have ever made him feel as repulsed as this has.]

What in hell is it supposed to be like?

[His voice comes out a bark, perhaps a little more aggressive than he means to be. Gotta compensate for that fear with something.]

[makejapangreat]

[Well.

This is certainly an interesting way to run into his son after the whole karaoke night talk...]

Good afternoon.

[No reason not to be civil, right? But then... he sees Goro's concoction, and does a double take.]

What in the world?

[foolishjustice]

[No. No. As if talking to him after karaoke night wasn't going to be awkward enough, it has to be now...]

...I don't suppose I could convince you it was here when I came in?

[makejapangreat]

You could certainly try, but you've already given me reason to doubt.

[He comes a bit closer, cautiously, as though he's approaching a wild animal.]

What exactly is "it"?

[byanyother_name]

[Kurama barely makes it into the kitchen, let alone actually over to the stove. The smell hits his keen nose...rather hard.

Like, turns immediately pale and slowly a little bit green, hard. His hand dips quickly into his hair and comes out with a rose that he holds under his nose to cut the smell of the definitely-not-food.]

Goro...

[You're supposed to be supervised for a reason...]

[foolishjustice]

I followed the recipe Akira gave me...

[He...thinks, anyway. He's still working on memorizing what everything is.]

All I understand of how this happened is that I burned it.

[power_of_dominance]

[Wow. Vampire senses really suck in these situations. That smells downright toxic. Soma edges in closely, only taking a brief glimpse before backing away in case it bubbles and splatters.]

That's... an interesting recipe. I've never seen purple smoke like that before. Well, not from food.

[foolishjustice]

[Yeah, he's only willing to be close enough to move it because he can cure poison.]

I don't know why it's purple. I must have gotten some of the ingredients mixed up...but that doesn't explain everything.