Who knows what’s right? The lines keep getting thinner

[makejapangreat]

Who: Shido Masayoshi and whatever unfortunate soul decides to approach him (Open)
What: Shido is working himself to the bone via self-inflicted punishment
When: Early May (like 5/1 ~ 5/12 or thereabouts)
Where: Various
Warnings: Lots of badbrain stuff going on with Shido rn, including self-deprecation, possible thoughts of suicide


[Library]
[Off in the corner sits a man, pouring over a manner of books. The more the days go by, the more that energy and health is sapped from him. The bags under his eyes have been persistent since day one of arriving here, but the noticeable changes are that he does seem to be losing some weight, and perhaps becoming a bit pallid... Yet a fire burns behind his eyes as he reads at the library like clockwork, occasionally extending a hand, fingers tensing, trying to press themselves down on some invisible object. Very occasionally, if one just happens to be around at the right time of day, they might hear a singular "pop" of air in his direction. It's also possible, at times, to find him completely slumped over on the table he's at, asleep, often grunting and twitching in his sleep— it's clearly not very restful...

On a brighter now, later on in the week you might see a henohenomoheji drawn on the back of Shido's head? He doesn't seem to be aware of this...]

[Library - 5/7 (Closed to Izunia)]
[There's more than just a pop today. Today? There's an outright crackle and snap of electricity.

Followed by an agonized yell and the clatter of a chair.

Shido lays on the floor, breathing heavily, one arm desperately clutching at the other that spasms from the surge of electricity that had torn through it. And then something peculiar happens.

Shido laughs. An unsteady sort of laugh, but nevertheless.

Maybe he electrocuted himself so badly he fried his brain...]

[Outside]
[If you get extra lucky, you might catch Shido outside. Particularly, the spot he chooses to go is north, to the top of the Skyclimb Cliffs, where he looks out to the ocean. It seems, well... somewhat of a precarious place for someone to be, really. He seems to be awfully close to the edge at times, no sign of fear or wariness in his body. You might catch him looking down, as if considering something, but for the most part? His gaze remains on the endless blue.

And then, after about thirty minutes of this, he'll quietly turn and head back.]

Comments

[makejapangreat]

... right. Of course.

[Because nothing can ever be simple. He decides to get himself a drink as well... cranberry juice, why not... and fills a second small bowl for Morgana with water, setting it wordlessly next to the other bowl.

For now, he's just going to take a seat and eat.]

[meowna]

Thanks.

[Nomnomnom~ It's a lot simpler than it could be right now, since Shido is a normal, squishy human still working on a single kind of elemental magic; Morgana won't bother with lecturing on anything more than the relevant stuff right now. Morgana, don't talk with your mouth full, that's rude.]

For the moment, just remember that your electricity should be especially effective against enemies with an affinity for wind--think mostly things with wings. Humans don't usually have elemental affinities on their own, so you shouldn't be especially vulnerable to or resistant to anything.

[makejapangreat]

[Another sigh.]

I suppose I'll have to learn to be more versatile, if I want to be useful.

[He seems... pretty frustrated about this, mostly for the fact that... well. Morgana saw how much he was struggling just with the lightning. Now he needs to learn more?]

[meowna]

There's nothing wrong with specializing! The more you focus on something, the more powerful you can become with it; my specialties are wind and healing.

It just means you need to rely on people more, so they can cover your weaknesses and you can cover theirs. No man is an island, you know.

[Is he lecturing Shido on the Power of Friendship? He's absolutely lecturing Shido on the Power of Friendship. He's thoroughly learned how much harder it is to try and go it alone.]

[makejapangreat]

[A soft hum in response as he continues to eat. Rely on people more, huh...]

... it's been a very long time since I relied on anyone.

[meowna]

I thought so.

[How does a cat look quite so knowing?]

Nobody can do everything themselves--and even if you could, that would mean you wouldn't have the time to excel at any of it. Pick a few things to make sure you're versatile enough to always be able to help somehow--but leave enough room for the rest of us to be able to help you too, okay?

[makejapangreat]

I figured that much.

Perhaps I should try something other than lightning magic for awhile, given how that's going...

[He scoffs softly at his own words. Unbelievable...]

[meowna]

You might be amazed how much more progress you'll make tomorrow, after you've slept and eaten breakfast.

That side, though, what else are you thinking of trying?

[makejapangreat]

Mm... this and that.

[He's... very lethargic.]

[meowna]

There's no rush to figure it all out right away. Just think about what kind of role you want to fill, and how to do it will be easier to understand.

[He won't rush the learning process; Shido's obviously motivated to work at it. He'll just..... oversee it all, and make sure that Shido does it right, in a way that doesn't jeopardize his health.

That sort of soul searching is all on Shido, though; he can't choose where the man's talents and interests lie. He'll just watch him while he drinks instead. Blep blep blep~]

[makejapangreat]

[He nods quietly, and finishes the rest of his food in silence. Once he and Morgana are both done, he quietly takes the dishes to rinse them in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher.]

[meowna]

[You'll sleep better with a full stomach, Shido, Morgana is pretty sure that's got to be at least one reason why you're both waking up constantly and exhausted all day. Now to fix that little issue of bedtime!

Don't think you'll get out of this part without supervision either, mister; your pawlice escort is hopping down off the counter and ready to walk you to your room.]

[makejapangreat]

[he's going, mom, jeez...! He does cast Morgana a glance, something akin to "Don't you have anything better to do?" but doesn't actually verbalize that, instead letting himself be walked by a cat to his room...

He lets out a sigh when he gets there and opens the door.]

I suppose I'll see you around, then.

[meowna]

[As a matter of fact? No, no he really doesn't have anything better to do. Though he wouldn't know it, this sort of thing is practically what he was made for. Maybe that's why he's walking past Shido to head inside once the door is open; he feels obligated to at least try to help, even if bad dreams are something Shido's ultimately got to deal with on his own. Changing someone's cognition is a powerful thing, though--if he knows someone's got his back, he probably will be able to handle it far more easily even without the support in the future.]

Of course you will.

[makejapangreat]

What—?

[He looks at the not-cat in confusion.]

What are you...?

[meowna]

I've spent well over three years mostly inside the cognitive world, and maybe a lot longer than that that I don't remember. I've gotten pretty good at beating down Shadows and cognitive beings alike and making them beg for mercy.

[Morgana jumps up onto Shido's bed, tossing his head and flicking his tail smugly; has he ever even mentioned the amnesia to Shido before? Because as uncertain as he secretly can be, he's certainly radiating cockiness now.]

What's a couple nightmares to a guy like me, huh? If they even dare to show their faces, I could take them down all by myself with one paw tied behind my back.

[makejapangreat]

[Shido is just... staring at confusion at this information? What does this have to do with anythin— oh.

Blinking... in bemusement...]

... I don't think it works like that.

[meowna]

You never know until you try.

[Morgana walks straight across Shido's pillow, tail swaying as he flops onto his side at the far side of it. Is he going to lay down or what?]

[makejapangreat]

[He blinks some more, then finally closes the door behind him.]

If you insist...

[Well, before he gets in bed, Morgana suggested exercising, so... he's going to try some of that? He's a little out of shape anyway, so he'll get winded pretty quick...

In between them, he asks:]

So what do you... plan... on doing... anyway?

[meowna]

Strength in numbers. Who'd willingly get into a fight they were outgunned in?

[AKA: He's literally just going to sleep on Shido and ward away nightmares by being cute, fluffy, warm company. Knowing someone is there is always a good nightmare deterrent, right?]

[makejapangreat]

Are you sure you aren't mistaking reality for the Cognitive World?

[Once he's done with those exercises, he's taking his shirt and pants off. He is going to sleep, after all. Surprisingly, though, he actually... doesn't look that bad? Sure, a little out of shape, but...]

[meowna]

The boundary between those is a lot thinner here than in our world. How do you know what works unless you try?

[Well, at least he doesn't look as completely absurd as his Shadow did once it hulked out..... The real Shido actually looks downright normal. Not amazingly buff, but at least not a dad bod, either.]

[makejapangreat]

[He gives a sigh and shakes his head, but doesn't argue it any further. Instead, he looks to the bathroom.]

... I suppose I ought to take a shower first.

[Shido you stinky old man when was the last time you took a shower. But anyway, he's gonna do that, use the toilet, brush his teeth etc... before he finally comes back into the room and gets into bed after turning off the light.]

Goodnight, then.

[meowna]

[Morgana daintily steps onto Shido's chest, because cats he has zero respect for personal space, and takes a moment to stretch and yawn. Soon he's curling up in a warm, furry lump, and starting a soft, sleepy purr.]

'Night.

[makejapangreat]

[...!

He stares at the fuzzy creature curled on top of him for a few moments, before his gaze softens... The warm, gentle weight, the soothing purrs... eventually cause him to drop off into peaceful slumber.]