I can barely sleep at all because being alone in these miserable rooms starts making my skin crawl. Can't imagine why.
[The sharp sarcasm made it quite clear that he could imagine exactly why.]
I'm a disaster held together by stubbornness and necessity, Izunia. I'm falling apart at any given second under the guilt of what I can't forget, and constantly trying to hold on to what I can still remember lest it vanish like so much else. I can't just 'not think about it', not for all the times I've woken up not sure where or who I am; it's clawing at my mind trying to tear me apart constantly. I've lived and died for the people willing to help hold me together, and now with even just one of them absent it's as if I've had a godsdamned arm torn off for how much it hurts and how useless I feel.
I'm sick of being kicked around alternate universes of not my own will, I'm tired of being afraid that this is going to turn into something nightmarish, and I just want to go home.
no subject
[The sharp sarcasm made it quite clear that he could imagine exactly why.]
I'm a disaster held together by stubbornness and necessity, Izunia. I'm falling apart at any given second under the guilt of what I can't forget, and constantly trying to hold on to what I can still remember lest it vanish like so much else. I can't just 'not think about it', not for all the times I've woken up not sure where or who I am; it's clawing at my mind trying to tear me apart constantly. I've lived and died for the people willing to help hold me together, and now with even just one of them absent it's as if I've had a godsdamned arm torn off for how much it hurts and how useless I feel.
I'm sick of being kicked around alternate universes of not my own will, I'm tired of being afraid that this is going to turn into something nightmarish, and I just want to go home.