Just...hear me out, alright? I'm going to summarize it as quickly as I can, and I'm going to sound godsdamned concussed for it.

I was kidnapped to another universe for the third season of what was ostensibly a reality show presented as fiction, where we were coerced into killing one another in very real and not remotely scripted fashion. I and my family have spent the last year or so trying to run from the network responsible, being abducted again for a fifth season, and finally dismantling the network in a media circus of litigation after exposing the show for the nonfictional torment it was.

But I'm incredibly famous in seven galaxies or something now, so that's kind of a bright side.